Vice President Mike Pence, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and National Security Adviser John Bolton are all wiping the drool from the corners of their mouths over the current developments in the Venezuela crisis.
Mike Pence said that "America will stand with you until you are able to get rid of one despot and replace him with the other."
The U.S. views Maduro's re-election as illegitimate and would definitely prefer that Venezuela have leadership that is friendly to exploitation by energy sector interests favorable to America.
The U.S. Government fully supports the Venezuelan people trading up for exploiters who will make their lives shittier in a far more subtle and sophisticated way. We'll use lots of lube when we do it to you," Pompeo said.
"Democracy cannot be defeated, because it doesn't truly exist," Pompeo also added.
Bolton said to Venezuelan Defense Minister Vladimir Padrino that the country's military must pretend to defend the constitution all the while actually protecting the oil.
"After Maduro has been deposed we will aid the new government in its bid to shit on average Venezuelans heads, not doing a thing to elevate their lives, and making mocking statements of solidarity with the people to the press by attending diplomatic gatherings designed to look liberty loving and friendly."