Written by joseph k winter

Monday, 28 January 2019

image for Regime change handbook on Venezuela found in Marco Rubio’s trash by garbage truck sleuths
Mr. Trump maintains his current position on Venezuela has been thoroughly researched (as with the wall)

Breaking: A new surveillance op is underway in the US via the garbage truck industry (“Streamline Disposal! We’ve Got Your Crap! Inc.”).

All trash is now routinely scanned, sniffed, linked, filed, and joined to facial recognition software at a customer’s address.

Mr. Rubio, architect of current politics for Venezuela in the US, had apparently fallen behind on this development.

Trash collection in his neighborhood has surfaced a draft of his Regime Change For Venezuela Handbook.

Mr. Rubio’s handbook rolls out the following steps for the takeover:

*In keeping with the need to regime change oil producing countries hostile to US interests, and to slow down global competition from Russia and China . . .

*Venezuela under that obnoxious admirer of Castro and Chavez, the bus driver Maduro . . .

*Elected by a mere 40% of the population and getting more than 60% of those voting . . .

*That election rigged (we can say) . . .

*Ramping up this possibility--phony--via mainstream news to fact with no evidence or proof . . .

*As Mr. Trump will agree on this Russian thing, proof is now irrelevant, just keep repeating the smears . . .

*So to our guy, Guaido, unknown in Venezuela, out of nowhere (with US connections), who announces he’s the real president . . .

*(Minor credibility problem here) . . .

*And . . .

*Venezuela has the largest oil resources on the planet (did I mention that already?) . . .

*Next, Rule 233 in the Bolivarian Constitution—carefully researched by Mr. Pence and passed along to Mr. Guaido the night before he announced himself the new president . . .

*This rule states The National Assembly can appoint an interim president until elections if the elected president “becomes permanently unavailable.”

*Being illegitimate Mr. Maduro is therefore absent . . .

*We then insist on new elections within 8 days . . .

*And modestly offer (for a small percentage of business proceedings) our help, the possibility of our military . . .

*Once again we are saving democracy for the people as with in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Syria . . .

*We also shut down Citgo to prevent funds going to Maduro . . .

*Driving up oil prices in the US (slight problem) but we can claim that's not our fault . . .

Mr. Pompeo, Mr. Bolton, Mr. Pence, Mr. Trump eagerly consumed Mr. Rubio’s thesis.

Mr. Bolton: We can use the old reliable "all options are on the table."

Mr. Pompeo: I will say: "You’re either with the forces of freedom and democracy, or the forces of darkness and repression."

Mr. Pence: I will argue what's his name is the real, present leader . . .

Mr. Trump: Hell, I just need a ratings boost, you know, strong commander and all that, as with firing rockets into Syria a couple years back?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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