There was good news for train commuters earlier today, when it was announced that, later this year, several of the major rail operators would be introducing toilets that flush.
Train companies are reacting to criticism from passengers, who say that the toilets onboard most train services are usually blocked with 'detritus', rendering them, at best, 'unhygienic', and, in the worst cases, 'minging'.
An unnamed source from one large company told us, however, that the toilets on their trains are not currently flushable, and never have been, but are emptied by men with shovels at the trains' ultimate destinations. These men, says the source, will now face an uncertain future, and potential redundancy. He said:
"These poor chaps will have a nervous, sphincter-twitching wait to discover their fate. I just hope they're not on board any of our trains."