Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 22 November 2018

image for "Over-Farting'' has now been declared a global deadly health threat by the WHO
A French onion seller takes his last batch from the Picardy onion mines.

Investigators are still examining the strange death of a Dutch cabbage farmer, who died of 'Over-Farting'.

It is believed the man had begun a health-kick diet high in anti-oxidants and sulforaphane, believed to prevent a key cause of cancer. However, after consuming copious amounts of cabbage, leeks, Brussels sprouts, and broccoli, the man inadvertently gassed himself.

Whilst sleeping heavily under his woolly blanket in a remote Dutch farmhouse (Remote, in Holland? Never!) and constantly farting, the poor farmer failed to awake, trapped in his deadly Dutch oven.

His wife, who raised the alarm, required urgent medical attention also after striking a match to light a candle.

The World Health Organisation (WHO - What? Oh, I see.) has now issued guidance to all its members on the dangers of high-fibre foods. Backed by their sponsors, which include McD's, Pizza Hut and KFC, they are advocating a high-carbohydrate, high-protein, high-fat approach to reduce the risks associated with excessive flatulence.

France has reported a severe drop in national productivity following the news as French onion sellers have reportedly gone in to hiding.

Jaggedone, who wrote this life-saving report, has opened the windows and warned the missus not to enter until a green-light appears on the bog door!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Farting, WHO, cabbages




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