Real Women Fart

Written by susan allen-rosario

Saturday, 17 November 2018


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

I am so sick of get real. GAS is good. If you can't fart around the ones you love, they can't be trusted and must be killed.

I am constantly being surrounded by women that would have me believe that they never blow it out. Really? Give me a god damn break...these same women let strangers wax their crotch, but would never think to let one go in say...a crowded elevator or something. They're all cowards!

And who the hell decided that every woman wants to be a size 2? Fuck that entire idea! So, I'm supposed to want to kill myself, open a vein in my brain, because, at my age, I am a sensible size 10? Okay...there was that weekend when I blossomed to a size 12, but did you see ME crying or starving myself for the next 20 weeks? NO!

I have resolved that I need several sizes of clothing, NOT a daily dose of self-loathing. I could probably fart my way down to a size 10 if I really wanted to, anyway. I have heard that some people can fart a tune - now there's an idea! I'm thinking something festive would be nice. How about jingle bells with a twist...or jingle smells? Now I'm cookin' with GAS.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more