Nashville Woman Prays Over Thanksgiving Turkey and Reflects that Karma’s a Bitch

Written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 21 November 2018

image for Nashville Woman Prays Over Thanksgiving Turkey and Reflects that Karma’s a Bitch
There's a reason this turkey ended up slaughtered and stuffed, Carrie Grace Martin and her family agree. "Karma's a bitch!"

In gratitude for the Thanksgiving Day feast prepared by her mother and extended family, Carrie Grace Martin of Nashville, Tennessee, bowed her head in prayer, thanked the centerpiece stuffed turkey for his/her sacrifice, and reflected to herself that karma’s a bitch.

Carrie Grace, who does her best to live and let live and be a friend to Jesus, acknowledged that the factory-farmed bird's life was likely unpleasant. "But there’s a reason that turkey ended up baked and stuffed on that table instead of me," she said. "I call it karma.”

“Reap what you sow!" agreed Carrie Grace’s mother, Edna Knowles, with a definitive nod. “Everything happens for a reason."

The family concluded their Thanksgiving prayer by requesting that their respective guardian angels keep them safe from suffering and protect them from all saturated fat and cholesterol.

“Angels can do anything," said Carrie Grace with confidence. "Even that." Her face lit up, and she added, "In fact, my husband saw one just the other day!”

"That I did," confirmed her husband, Bill, as he used an electric knife to carve into the flesh of the dead body on the table. “We are truly blessed.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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