Written by Paxton Quigley

Monday, 10 September 2018

image for Saudi Arabian Tourist Board Invites Hen Parties
Women go wild at the beach in Jeddah

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman wants a new, open Saudi Arabia with concerts, cinemas and beaches and a 2030 vision or so he says.

It is with this view that the Saudi Arabian Tourist Board is encouraging western brides-to-be to visit the desert kingdom to have the time of their lives before settling down to a life of drudgery and subjugation by their infidel husbands.

Minister of Tourism Sheikh Yurprik bin Angon spoke candidly to The Spoof.

"Yes, it's true the crown prince wants to open up the tourist industry to single women who want to visit our beautiful country. We have all sorts of attractions and activities for a young lady.

"You should always dress modestly in a fetching floor length black gown. You can call it sheikh chic, but contrary to rumour you don't need to cover your face and hair, unlike our local women who do as they are told, not like you western whores. Please ensure that you have written permission from a male relative to be out and about while unaccompanied.

"There's the opportunity to be groped in the souk with impunity. But beware, if you complain too much, you could be arrested for licentious behaviour.

"Alternatively, you might be lucky enough to be invited to a party in a western man's apartment block. As you know, consumption of alcohol is illegal and you should be careful cavorting as a single woman, but there you can drink illicit home made alcohol at the risk of a police raid, unless your host is sufficiently well connected to have bribed the police to stay away.

"Of course, Saudi Arabia is a police state although that needn't worry you if you are a respectable woman. You will see police from all different branches of the state patrolling the streets. Apart from the civil police, the traffic police and the military police, you will also come across the "religious police", known as the Mutawa, but you shouldn't notice the Mabahith or secret police, who are your friends. They are there purely for your protection unless you decide to engage in political activism, which might carry the death penalty.

"One final warning, although I wouldn't worry too much. Should you become involved in a sexual liaison please make sure that your partner is not married. It might be that he has lied to you, might even rape you, whatever. If he is indeed somebody else's husband, then I am afraid that through no fault of your own we will have to stone you to death for adultery. It is god's will."

Hello ladies, we're loosening up in the Kingdom

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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