Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 2 July 2018

image for Man Stubs Toe As He Tries To Get A Better View
Kenwood's face wore a similar expression

A man in the Cambodian second-city of Battambang was in agony on Saturday evening after he stubbed his toe.

The incident happened around 10:13pm as Moys Kenwood watched the World Cup match between France and Argentina. Excited after the second French goal by Benjamin Pavard - itself no 'toepoke' - Kenwood tried to get a bit nearer the TV to see the slow-motion replay more clearly, and came a cropper.

As he rose quickly from his chair, he slightly lost his balance, and, trying to rectify this, brought his right foot forward at an awkward angle and rather overcompensated for his initial error, whereby his big toe made contact with the ground 'nailfirst', and it folded with the knuckle pushing sharply upwards. He let out a yell.

"Oooo, y'fuckin bastard!"

The pain was immediate, but, thankfully, not long-lasting. Kenwood's wife, having witnessed the comedy, rushed to his assistance with an ice pack with which she was able to relieve his discomfort.

Outside medical assistance was not required, and the patient was able to watch the remainder of the game without further incident.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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