Written by queen mudder

Monday, 16 February 2015

The Hague, Netherlands - Human frights lawyer Amal Clooney has been cut down to size by Stonkerz magazine after being dubbed 'Princess Pancake' on account of her flat 30A-cup tits.

The Pancake Day award comes with a year's supply of brassiere cup boosters - mostly gel-filled 'chicken fillets' inserts - plus a 5-kilo tub of patented Bust Enhancement gunk.

Reports claiming the mammary unguent is '100% bison semen' have been denied despite cosmetic industry leaks about the lotion containing a secret ingredient.

Harvested via organic bovine blow-jobs by pre-pubescent cows.

This morning a somewhat po-faced Mrs C was spotted outside the International Court of Human Frights at the Hague where she's representing disadvantaged Eritrean panel beaters in an EU compensation scam.

A thick winter coat and matching wooly muffler successfully hid what may well be her very best feature.

Husband George Clooney's eyesight is 69%.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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