Rub' al Khali, Saudi Arabia - Fossil remains recovered from the sand dunes have revealed the dromedary 'only ever had one hump' before bursting a blood vessel somewhere inside Charles' desert private quarters.
This weekend news of the scandal saw the Prince hotfoot it back to Blighty where an audience with the Queen soon confirmed his darkest fears:
"The bloody Saudis are suing your sad ass, Charles," HM explained, "for despoiling the virginity of that stupid camel.
"You'll just have to pimp out Camilla to their religious police to make atonement for the horrible sight....Slight!"
The yearling beast from Alkhobar Province was being groomed to become the birth mother of a new royal Saudi line when Prince Charles mistook her for a Wahhabist 'comfort woman' supplied by Foreign Orifice pals during last year's trip.
A major diplomatic incident is now unfolding with furious Saudis complaining about House of Windsor extracurricular shagging all over the place.
Blood money of ten thousand duckets plus a ruby tiara are being sought from the feckless Charles who remains holed up in Scotland nursing his sores.