The Coca-Cola Company Still Hasn't Built the World a Home

Funny story written by Catchthisdrift

Monday, 19 May 2014

image for The Coca-Cola Company Still Hasn't Built the World a Home
Earth: too large to hold in your hands

Atlanta, GA, USA - Despite a decades-long effort, the Coca-Cola company has not yet built the world a home or taught the world to sing in perfect harmony. The company's efforts began in 1971 with a television commercial featuring a multi-cultural group of young people singing a song that started with the line "I'd like to build the world a home, and furnish it with love." In addition to the hope of building the world a home, Coca-Cola also planned on providing the grounds of the home with apple trees, honey bees and snow-white turtle doves. None of those things have happened across the world.

All of those goals featured material goods. In addition to those material items, Coke expressed it's desire to teach the world to become better singers. In fact, Coke's plan was to teach the entire world to sing "in perfect harmony." The second verse of the song featured in the commercial was: I'd like to teach the world to sing In perfect harmony; I'd like to hold it in my arms and keep it company."

Professor of Music Harlan Newsonbaum of the New York City School of Performing Arts thought the idea noble, but said "Some people just can't sing. Well, I should rephrase that. They can sing, but it sounds horrendous and no matter how much teaching they would receive, they aren't going to get any better."

Also, several experts who were consulted regarding this article agreed that the the size of the Earth relative to the size of a human being makes it impossible for a person to hold the world in their arms.

Coca-Cola's subsequent effort, "Have a Coke and a smile" is considered more realistic, excluding those people of course such as diabetics who have to be careful of their sugar intake and perpetually depressed people who never smile at all.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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