The Computer That Writes its own Stuff

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Thursday, 22 November 2012

image for The Computer That Writes its own Stuff
George Bush playing with DreamMatcher

It is a sobering thought that individual creative endeavour in literature and film making may be at an end. The teaching profession is in disarray over the recent announcement. Indeed, this controversial invention may spell the end of fiction writing as a profession.

In brief, a Los Angeles firm has invented a machine that it claims will revolutionize culture as we know it. The DreamMatcher computer may indeed change the face of cultures not just at home but all over the world, and for ever.

Explained, CEO of DreamMatcher Ltd, Gifit Al Over; "after years of analyses of publishing, music and films we have finally solved the riddle. By examining prevailing markets around the globe we can feed the DreamMaker with relevant information about changes in ethnic tastes and thinking patterns. DreamMatcher is already programmed with profiles of all the most successful films down the ages and the most successful television and movie scripts, story-lines, characters, plots etc, etc. The whole shebang in fact including costs of production, marketing strategies, profit projections, merchandizing of course via games, parks, commodities, publications, etc, etc, etc. DreamMatcher takes care of the lot. Once it has the relevant information it can call on whole libraries of texts stretching as far back as Homer and by logical sampling put together a novel, a story or film script to meet the exact needs of the relevant market."

When challenged that what he meant by "sampling" was straightforward plagiarism, Mr Al-Over laughed for a whole minute or more before going on:

"Our legal team are ready for all eventualities on that score. DreamMatcher's versions of pre-existing material will be too far removed from their originals for any real connection to be made. It has all been taken care of. And may we say that we are indebted indeed to Scholastic Publishing, Bloomsbury of England and all the others behind the Harry Potter phenomenon for investing heavily in this enterprise? Potter you could say has pointed the way. It will pay huge dividends for all concerned. The writer and imagineer may have to look for another job. But, that's progress. Business is business after all and that is what culture and literature especially is all about. Right?"

It remains to be seen just what sort of an impact DreamMatcher and those who can afford it will make to our civilization although DreamMatcher may have to invent a new word for that.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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