Savile Inquiry - Bookies Tighten the Odds

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Thursday, 22 November 2012


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A loaded deck in action.

Bookies in the UK are now taking a more level headed approach to the Jimmy Savile inquiry and are offering the following odds in the case.

Odds Against politicians appearing in the dock on paedophilia charges resulting from inquiry.

(1) One politician appearing.... 33/1.
(2) Two politicians appearing... 50/1.
(3) More than two... 1000/1.
(4) Member of the cabinet appearing...2000/1.
(5) More than one member of the cabinet appearing... 1000000/1.

Time frame before inquiry is suppressed out of sight by the media and UK public drawn back into their habitual state of televisual narcosis.

(1) Four more weeks... 5/1.
(2) Six more weeks... 4/1
(3) Two months... 3/1.
(4) Four months... 1/50.

The BBC will take measures to redeem its reputation as morally above reproach by ...

(a) More religious programs especially in the run-in to Christmas...1/1.
(b) More air time to known moral campaigners... 1/1.
(c) Broadcasters with known integrity and respected by the public will
have their contracts extended and a pay-rise.... 1/1.
(d) The whole question of moral corruption in politics, entertainment and the media will be tabooed indefinitely.
(e) The BBC will put its full broadcasting weight behind the drive to secure the right to SECRECY for the rich and powerful that includes the CEOs of its own organization. This drive currently masquerades as the right to 'privacy' presently under way via the righteous Leveson Inquiry that is basically a covert attempt to stifle newspapers and reporters from conveying facts and truth about public figures while presenting itself as an overt moral crusade to prevent unprofessional conduct in the press.... 1/1000.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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