Crawford, Texarse - (Plausible Deniability Mess): Holy amnesia! Have years of alcohol and cocaine bingeing fried Dubya's memory circuits?
The ex-president's fiction factory editors remain confident that nobody will rubbish his Derision Points memoir scheduled for publication on Tuesday.
"He's either rubbed out, terrified to death, bought off or permanently gagged everybody who knows him to be the sicko mothaf***a that he really is," Dickless Cheney's proctologist confirmed today.
However disgusted UN Security Council sources today damned the entire 1,000-page auto-hagiography as a pack of 'sordid (Arabian) lies' from beginning to end.
Starting with those 'missing, presumed destroyed military records' Secretariat lawyers slammed the destruction of Pentagon microfiche records about Bush's multiple jailings on drug trafficking charges.
Citing NATO intelligence documents UN legal officers described today the contents of original Spoof material'including blood/tissue/DNA samples, police arrest log books, detox and rehabilitation records, offshore bank account numbers, Internal Revenue Court Summonses, Court Martial records, CIA intelligence reports, Defense Department classified papers relating to Taliban investment portfolios AND his Armand Hammer fraternity affiliation to the Hellfire Club'.
And that 1970 marriage to Opus Dei faghag Cherie Blair?
"You'll have to wait for the collapse of the Vatican before the wedding certificate can be published," UK Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency sources explained.
Barbara Bush Sr is one helluva liar.