A leaked CIA document released under the Freedom of Information Act shows that London Mayoral candidate George W claims to have been abducted by aliens.
At the time CIA staff put it down either to an overfondness for root beer or his preponderance for sniffing freshly dug turnips.
Further research now tends to add credence to his claims after an alien spacecraft crashed in Milton Keynes killing its pilot.
Documents recovered from the downed craft have images of George W and a report of their examination of him puts his whole personality in a new light.
It appears that when he says he has flown around the rings of Saturn, this is, in fact, true. The aliens took him there because he said he liked the pretty colours and they thought it would make him more relaxed and co-operative.
The aliens had a Universal Translator but had great difficulty understanding what he was saying and the outcome was that the original craft left with its records showing that no intelligent life existed on Earth.
A second craft, however, abducted an aging Orang Utang, with cataracts and senile dementia and filed a report saying that it had found a more intelligent life form: the crashed craft had returned to do further research.