Obama Asks Conservatives for Legitimate List of People They Would Like to See Fired

Funny story written by Charpa93

Friday, 23 July 2010

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US Undersecretary of Education possibly on chopping block

In yet another bold move by President Obama to prove to the country that he is willing to put partisan politics aside and do what is best for the country, has asked for a list from the leaders of various conservative and libertarian groups naming democrat and progressive workers they believe should be fired from their government jobs for leaning too far to the left.

According to an official Obama spokesperson, the President has decided that in light of the recent mishandling of the Shirley Sherrod matter, wherein a seemingly innocent black USDA official was fired for allegedly touting racist views 23 years ago, more transparency is needed so that saner decisions on hiring and firing can prevail.

"We can't just go running around willy-nilly firing people because the other side says we should," said Delores Whipple, a black White House press assistant. "At the same time," she said, "the President wants to make both sides happy. The only way he can do that is to cow tow to them, and he will, but the claims of reverse racism must be much more provable than in the Sherrod case."

Whipple further emphasized, "The whole story must be given, not just bits and pieces. The President is ready, willing and able to step up to the plate to placate the other side, but it has to be done so that he doesn't look like a complete fool as in the Sherrod case. We acted too hastily and ended up looking just as foolish as Fox News and that just cannot happen again," she said.

Andrew Breitbart is said to be applauding the President's invitation and is offering to pay anyone $10,000 who can come up with incriminating tapes along the lines of the one he received on Shirley Sherrod so that he can assist the President in making good on his promise.

Meanwhile, some extreme right-wing groups aren't as quick to jump on the Obama "outing" bandwagon and believe this may be another trap to make them appear even more racist. They are cautiously awaiting word from Breitbart as to whether or not this is a real-deal offer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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