Zero Liability Voters Skew Election Results

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

image for Zero Liability Voters Skew Election Results
Of course, that "vote here" sign would need to be in Spanish.

The "Zero Liability Voter" is expected to make a major impact in the 2010 and 2012 elections. According to a report from social scientists at the University of Colorado, "if enough of them show up and vote, the results will probably be more of the current system of Government."

The Zero Liability Voter is defined in their paper as someone "who does not pay any property taxes, receives back more from the government in income taxes than they pay in, and does not contribute more than sales tax to the government." Due to programs and deduction such as Earned Income Credit, Child Care benefits, and Student Exemptions, many people end up paying no Federal Income Taxes and receive large sums tax rebates from the Government.

Dr. Hugh Carter of the University said: "In 2008, analysts put the Zero Liability Voter at 47% of the voting age population. With the planned amnesty for twelve to twenty million illegal aliens, this number could climb quickly to over 55% of the eligible voters."

"As new voters, who would this large block support in the election? The people and party that are in favor of providing free health care, free housing, free higher education, free school lunches and breakfasts, free food, free income, and no responsibility."

"To put this in plain, simple English that even most Zero Liability Voters can understand.... if they get amnesty, the people who actually pay for and fund the government through payment of taxes won't have enough votes to say how it is run. This would boil down to a simple reelection for Obama and the end of the two party system in Red states."

To put this in even simpler English, a true welfare state is on the way!

This message has not been approved by Oprah Winfrey or the Obama Administration.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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