Roads across the US and Canada are fast becoming the meeting place for hundreds of thousands of middle aged women. Using only the Internet and cell phones, these women are organising themselves into groups, posses and convoys so that they can indulge themselves in their idol, Susan Boyle.
Here is how it works: friends will Twitter friends, arrange a pick up point and go surolling. Surollers favour high end comfortable vehicles because of their numerous middle age ailments. Being hard of hearing is certainly high up there on the list judging by the full blast pounding beat coming from their vehicles.
Once the surollers collect their suroll posse they begin their journey by listening to their Parliamo Scottish CD's. Most surollers also have DVD players and can be seen watching, the by now very rich Scottish actors, chatting away while they mimic the accent. The surollers aim to immerse themselves in Scottish accents and spend hundreds of dollars collecting the essential Scottish language CD's and DVD's.
Their hearing attuned to the Scottish accent, the surollers slap in their Susan Boyle CD's for the remainder of their journey. Middle aged women appear, often in a trance like state, to be talking all at once but they are singing along to every note, every chord and every nuance of subo. The music and singing is often so loud that they sometimes cannot hear their cell phones receiving invitations from other surolling groups to form a posse or in many cases a convoy.
Huge multi media convoys are not uncommon.The "conf up" as they describe it takes place on MSN as many suroller groups murder another Susan Boyle song together.
Many a small town in North America is being shaken to its foundations as convoys of surollers move through their main street, only stopping off to collect as much coffee and doughnuts as they can carry and often cleaning out the local store.
Local economies in small town USA and Canada have seen their coffers boosted by massive additional sales of gas. Coffee shops too report huge increases in turnover. The local ice cream outlets are gearing up for the summer suroller season. With a second CD anticipated looks like it could be a suroller spree in the sunshine.
Oh no all the windows open and those convertibles! Pass me the earplugs.
