NY Snowstorm Puts Freeze on Plan to Stage Topless Protest

Written by Gail Farrelly

Wednesday, 23 December 2009


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Where's the Bike Lane?

Brooklyn, New York: Angry that a Brooklyn bike lane had been eliminated, a group of female bicyclists had planned the topless protest. But that was before the arrival of snow, howling winds, slippery streets, and frigid temperatures. Instead of stripping DOWN, the female bicyclists decided to layer UP before they rode through the streets.

Adding what they thought would be a little humor to the event, some of them layered plastic breasts over their heavy jackets. It was a variant of the "inside-out" look that Madonna had popularized eons ago. Many of the onlookers were not amused. Adding insult to injury, they figured.

Male bikers, who had waited two hours to reserve front-row seats in anticipation of the topless protest, were disgusted with the change in plans. One of the bikers, a Hulk Hogan lookalike -- in jeans, a leather jacket, and a red bandana -- was the spokesman for the group, asking "What's the problem with these chicks anyway? A bunch of wimps. A little cold never hurt nobody."

The female bicyclists, in their multi-layered outfits, just laughed, joining together to belt out tunes such as "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and "Let's Hear It for the Girl," as they rode through the streets. The male bikers booed them loudly before heading for the nearest strip club. Shaking their heads from side to side, the guys commiserated with each other. One was heard to complain, "So much for the great outdoors. Now we have to go indoors. And it's a double whammy. Now we have to pay for the show!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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