Jedward on suicide watch in expensive clinic after shock X Factor defeat - Louis officially distraught.

Funny story written by Thibarine

Monday, 23 November 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Louis Walsh was thrown into complete disarray after his novelty act John and Edward Grimes crashed out of competition in the most shocking X Factor episode ever. After the show the boys, their glittering career in tatters, were whisked into a waiting cab with specially blackened windows and driven straight to the £1000 a night Priory Clinic.

"The boys are inconsolable" said Louis, talking exclusively to the media. "They're too young for conventional medication but their consultant has managed to stabilise them with Haribo and Red Bull. It's too early to make a statement; however I can reveal they're sitting up in bed with the telly on, comparing meerkats."

"I can't imagine what they're going through" Louis went on. "What must it be like to be eighteen years old with your future round your ankles? I may look calm but behind the Botox I'm deeply, deeply upset. The twins have to stay in the Priory until they're well enough to accept the news that Syco isn't picking up the tab."

Although a recording contract is now off the cards, a glimmer of hope still beckons. It's been widely reported in showbiz circles that Jedward have been invited to turn on the Christmas lights at Poundland in Hackney.

A special victim support helpline has been set up for fans of the twins.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more