PISSEDIN SPRINGS, FL (ABSNN) -- This sleepy southern town of 210 souls announced the Friday opening of of The Funny Funkers Hall of Fame located in nearby Sanford, Florida.
"A bunch of us old folks were sitting around in the TV room of The Home last week and decided to see if we could raise enough money for a new 72" wide screen television--and we came up with this idea," said Imabutt Tole, 79, a retired glass factory worker originally from Charleston, West Virginia.
"So we broke into the Administrator's Office and hacked into his computer. Well, that was a bust. We used an axe," said Tole.
"Gladys called her great-grand daughter, who came down yesterday from Ocala, and she started a web site called the Funny Fuckers Hall of Fame. Afore we knew it, we'd raised enough money from really clueless, stupid assholes around the world to buy the home, and TV's, and whores or male prostitutes for every room. Plus beer money," he crowed.
ABSNN has obtained a copy of the nominees for the Class of 2009:
(1) Honorary Funniest Fucker--President Obama
(2) Really Funny Fucker, Bill Clinton
(3) Really Dead Funny Fucker--Michael Jackson
(4) Really Old Funny Fucker--(tie) Pope Bentdick, Robert C. Byrd
(5) Really Stupid Funny Fucker (movies available)--Sarah Palin
(6) Really Useless Funny Fucker(s)--David and Victoria Beckham
(7) Really Passed His Useful Life Funny Fucker--Rush Limbaugh
(8) Really Really Ugly Funny Fucker--Nancy Pelosi
(9) Really Really Really Dumb Funny Fucker--Jessica Simpson (although Tole says he'd fucker)
Should you wish to nominate someone for The Funny Fucker Hall of Fame, send $1200 US to Funny Fucker Hall of Fame, PO Box 206793, Bumfuck, Florida 3____.