In a broadcast that took even his most devoted followers by surprise Rush Limbauh predicted today that the United States would be destroyed by an asteroid sometime during Obama's first term in office.
Limbaugh proclaimed midway through his daily broadcast: "My friends...my dear Dittoheads....listen up...what I am about to tell you will shock you...and maybe frighten you....BUT IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN....and you and I must be prepared....OUR GOD...THE GOD OF THIS COUNTRY is not going to let this great country fall into the hands of the commies, the socialists, the Jews, the negroes, the Mexicans, and the faggots. He is going to destroy this country before that happens....and I thank God for it! He is not going to let the Devil Incarnate rule this country any longer....and I say....RIGHT ON GOD! NOT ON MY WATCH. In the words of that great patriot of times past, Senator Joseph McCarthy...Better dead than Red.
Some of us will be saved.....the true believers WILL be saved...so I say....Get ready for that train is coming my friends!
Onlookers report at this point in the broadcast, Limbaugh started to jump up and down in his chair..and then proceeded to projectile vomit and deficate uncontrollably. The observers reported that he seemed to shrink so much in size that it looked as if he weighed only 110 pounds. As he slowly shrunk in size he uttered into the microphone in a rasping whisper...."I'M M-E-L-T-I-N-G .....I'M M-E-L-T-I-N-G.
Services for Mr. Limbaugh will be held at the offices of The Weekly Standard in Washington DC as thousands of his supporters throughout the country have proclaimed a "National Day of Projectile Vomiting and Uncontrolled Diahrea" to commemorate his life and his death.
Most Public transportation and Amtrak have cancelled all operations for the day.
