Great Grandson of Illegitimate Child Born In Grandma's Boarding House Wins Grandma's Marathon

Funny story written by Wire Piddle

Saturday, 20 June 2009

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The Big Lake They Call Gichigumi

Duluth, Mn - The great grandson of an illegitimate child born in Grandma's boarding house, the precurser to Grandma's Restaurant, has won the Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, Minnesota. The marathon got its name from its first sponsor, Grandma's Restaurant.

Mark Stoker, the winner of Grandma's marathon, recalls how his great great grandfather used to work as a sailor on the Great Lakes. At the time, Grandma's boarding house was known as a brothel and Mark's great great grandfather, Victor, was a frequent visitor.

"I recall how my great great grandfather, Victor used to work as a sailor on the Great Lakes. For amusement and recreation, he used to stay at Grandma's boarding house which was actually a thin disguise for a brothel. He knew many of the local girls by their first names and even more than that. One girl, Felicia, bore him a son. It is from this son that I am descended."

On his athletic ability, Mark states, "...my great great grandfather was always getting into trouble with the local constabulary, particularly where it concerned Grandma's boarding house. Many a time he had to beat a hasty retreat to his ship as the police conducted frequent raids. Sometimes his ship would be all the way up the coast in Fort William, Canada; now known as Thunder Bay, which is a good 200 miles away. It is from these challenging runs that I have inherited my predisposition for, not only stamina and endurance, but also a keen ability to distract myself during a grueling marathon by imagining naked women."

The rest of the top five finishers came from Ethiopia.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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