Arlington, Va - In a measure to deflect an increasing backlash from animal rights groups and republicans regarding President Obama's fly swatting incident, the White House announced today that it will seak to erect a new monument to adorn Arlington Cemetery; the 'Tomb of the Unknown Fly'.
Federal funding to erect the monument will have to be passed through congress but progress "...should be swift," House majority leader, Steny Hoyer(D) stated. "It is important that we recognize how vital and important the contribution of the average house fly is to our American Way of Life," President Obama stated at an early morning press conference.
Although plans are still in their initial stages, it is thought that the monument may already be taking on a life of it's own. Mused Mr. Hoyer, "...I envision a vast, unenclosed viewing area, preferably made of granite, looking out over the graceful Potomac river. A contemplation garden for people to walk around in and...think."
"..and of course we'll have to attract as many flies as we can to the monument. For that we will need dung, massive heaps of dung, and not only in one place. We'll have to spread it around a bit," an activity that, Mr. Hoyer conceded, the Congressman were well suited to perform.
In response to the preliminary ideas, Mr. Obama stated, "Oh..man...these guys get carried away with everything," after which the President slammed a folder onto the desk and walked briskly out of the room.
After further consultation with the President, Congress has prepared a revised and more conservative plan for the 'Tomb of The Unknown Fly'. It will now cover a land area no bigger than five feet square and be placed a short distance from the Arlington Cemetery garbage bins.
