Joe Biden Reveals Location of Secret V.P. Bunker

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 18 May 2009

image for Joe Biden Reveals Location of Secret V.P. Bunker
Vice President Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. - who in 1979 won The Bob Uecker Look-a-Like Contest

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden accidentally revealed classified information, namely the hiding place location of the vice-presidential secret bunker.

The extremely top-secret bunker is to be used by the vice-president in the event of an emergency.

In fact Vice-President Dick Cheney hid out there during 9-11. He emerged eight months later. The story is that President George Bush actually wanted for Cheney to have stayed there for about two years.

Biden revealed the top-secret, classified information during a luncheon at the D.C. Holiday Inn, which was in honor of The North American Retired Professional Hockey Players Club.

The secret bunker is located inside the Coast Guard Observatory just below the main floor ladies restroom.

The vice president also inadvertently even gave out the combination to the Master combination lock on the secret bunker's front door (right 17, left 23, right 4).

Biden was the featured speaker. He stood up and said that the president wanted to be present but he had some pressing business. He was ironing Michelle's Sunday dress.

He added that Hilary Clinton cancelled at the last minute because her and Bill had to deal with a little problem concering their daughter Chelsea.

It seems that Chelsea told a Monica Lewinsky joke to one of her secret service agents and he took offense to it.

Biden even took a little stab at the GOP presidential candidate Senator John McCain of Arizona.

He said that McCain had received "The 2009 National Geographic Award For The Most Noticeable Comb-Over."

He then smiled, took a sip from his Singapore Sling and said that he and McCain actually have three things in common.

One, they both have gray hair. Both are senators. And both agree that Sara Palin needs to never ever leave Alaska matter what.

Joe then grinned and said "And speaking of liquid, when it comes to quenching thirst Delaware Punch kicks Arizona Tea's butt everytime."

Biden then turned his attention to the GOPrincess Ann Coulter.

"Ann Coulter is so skinny she makes a pencil look Chubby."

"Ann's mom said that when she was a child she was so mean she gave chicken pox to her pet chicken."

"And speaking of pets, Ann once went to a petting zoo and went home crying because no one petted her."

Biden then said that the man that Obama's administration dispises the most is Rush Limbaugh. The vice-president said that "Mush Mouth" Limbaugh makes Humpty Dumpty look anorexic.

"Rush is so fat that where ever he goes his shadow gets there before him.

"The man salts his food with bacon strips."

"He takes pills with a milk shake."

"'Lardbottom' Limbaugh makes Kirstie Alley look like Popeye's girlfriend Olive Oyl."

"And twice within the past week Limbaugh was chased away from a Chinese All-You-Can-Eat Buffet." The restaurant owner hollered out, "You reave now fat boy, you eat too many food, you go get hell out my prace."

In closing, the vice-president said that he heard that Columbia Pictures is considering remaking the Three Stooges movie, Snow White And The Three Stooges.

He added that they hope to cast Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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