Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

image for Bristol Palin butchers and eviscerates seal pup, eats its raw palpitating heart
The seal pup's pelt was later turned into a fetching bikini

Wasilla, Alaska - (Wannabe Vegan Ass Mess): Alaskan eco-heroine poster-child Bristol Palin has sent GOP hearts a-flutter with the single-handed clubbing to death of a 'vicious' seal pup which she then proceeded to eviscerate before gorging herself on its still beating heart.

Using a traditional Inuit ulu blade Palin, 19, chomped her way through the palpitating organ in an apparent gesture of one-upmanship with her moose-slaughtering mother Sarah.

"Yummy!" Bristol told press reporters who witnessed the sacrificial rite this weekend. "And so full of rich nutrients it almost makes ya wish you're pregnant again!"

The seal pup's skin was later stripped from its flaccid corpse and taken to an Anchorage furrier to be turned into a fetching bikini ensemble.

Ex-Palin boyfriend Levi Johnston is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: bristol palin

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