Don't ask, don't tell and if you do your ass is grass in today's military remains in place under liberal black president Obama,and gay mariage is among the progressive causes that the new progressive President opposes. But fear not homosexuals of the US of A, some of your not straight brothers and sisters and their kiddies can get gay and joyous on the White House lawn this Easter.
The Obama administration proclamation read thusly:
"For, it has come to pass in the days of Barackus Obamas, when Josephus Bidenensis assisted and Hilarious Clintonas resisted that all persons from the surrounding locales were summoned to assemble on the royal lawn to hunt eggs. Be they short or tall, fat or thin or straight or crooked, er ahem gay...let all be welcomed as long as none try to serve their country militarily openly or seek to make their love a sacred commitment. Get your eggs and get off the grass!"