A man is helping Washington police following an attack on the White House. It is believed that a baseball was thrown through a window late last night. Security forces were quick to respond and an arrest was made. The individual was led away talking gibberish. He is believed to be educationally below normal.
Sources said that this is a worrying turn of events. Previously if American's wanted to assassinate their President they would shoot him. But this recent event shows a more British approach is being adopted. Recently an attempt was made on Lord Mandelson's life with some green custard. And Tony Blair was once viciously attacked with some powder. Security forces are concerned that similar events may become common place. They have called on the public to be vigilant. Anybody buying custard or jelly will need to produce id and there purchase will be logged.
Manufacturers of baseballs are concerned that this recent incident may play into the hands of their opponents. "Americans have the right to carry a baseball" said Hank Dangly "and I don't think the availability of baseballs is the issue. We can't be blamed for the actions of a lunatic."
But anti-ball campaigner Michael Moron said "These guys never take responsibility for what they cause. We need ball control in the United States. Now."
The debate is sure to rage on. Meanwhile the arrested man continues to help police with their enquiries.