WASHINGTON, D.C. - A White House aide has just announced that American Idol contestant Tatiana Del Toro has been booked to perform at President Obama's Weekly Wednesday White House Music Fest.
The president reportedly told his breakfast cook, Ann "Jemima" Dayskill that his mother-in-law Marian Shields Robinson thinks that Miss Del Toro is the funniest woman she has seen since Lucy Ricardo (Lucile Ball).
Robinson said, "I swear that Del Toro woman has more damn energy than she has sense. With the way she carries on jumping, and hopping, and shouting, and crying up a storm, I am surprised that her thighs are as huge as they are."
Del Toro has been scheduled to perform between Bob Dylan and Rascal Flatts. She will be singing three songs, "La Bamba" by Richie Valens, "Sukiyaki" by Kyu Sakamoto, and the 1969, 17-minute classic by Iron Butterfly, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."
Tatiana was asked how she felt being asked to perform for the president, "I am so honored, eeeeeeee, I will get to show America that I am the greatest female singer since Celine Dion and The Belmonts. Eeeeeeee"
When asked if she had a boyfriend, she replied no and that she was saving herself for Ryan Seacrest. She said that during one of the rehersals Ryan had touched her erotically on her left tibia and he told her that she smelled positively delicious like an order of French fries.
Del Toro revealed that she has been approached by Playboy Magazine to do a layout. She said that they want to do a story around her called, The Singing Squealing Women of Puerto Rico.
In other news. Warner Brothers Pictures is considering Paris Hilton to portray Ann Coulter in Ann Coulter - Tall, Thin, And Q-Tip-Looking.
