Gland Problem Hypothyroidism Causing Stinking Creek Man To Weigh 475 Pounds

Written by Bureau

Thursday, 12 February 2009

image for Gland Problem Hypothyroidism Causing Stinking Creek Man To Weigh 475 Pounds
Headed Home With Doggy Bag

Born with a rare, debilitating glandular disorder plus a hypothyroid problem, 475-pound Stinking Creek resident, Paul Don Henderson helped himself to a fifth serving of fried catfish, mashed potatoes and popped his 21st hush puppy into his pie hole at the Catfish Palace Monday.

"Why, oh, why, was I chosen burp to suffer this horrible fate and mmmphhhh blogismmm beeelllcchh?" bemoaned the stricken Henderson, helplessly shoveling several more fistfuls of buttery mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"What have I done to deserve this awful glomphummm pooooot! scuse me?"

Henderson's condition, known within medical circles as "Lazyfatassitis," also prevents him from walking around inside his house as he uses a special-made electric wheer-chair.

"My daddy had buuuuurrrrpppp! this condition but I don't remember him as he died when I was two, at the age of 34."

"It's a family rrrrrmmmmpppp family curse. Like that there Werewolf thing."

"Whoa! Sounds like we need another huspuppy and some onion rings down there!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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