The number of troops diagnosed as overweight or obese has more than doubled since the start of the Iraq war, yet another example of stress and strains of continuing combat deployments, according to a recent Pentagon study.
"This is serious", stated one officer. "You gain weight, you slow down, you become a much bigger target."
"We're having twice the rate in ass shootings", stated one medic.
The review, contained in the January edition of the Defense Department's Medical Surveillance Monthly Report, raises concerns about the overall readiness as demands on the military continue to increase, says Dr. Michael Kilpatrick, director of strategic communication for Pentagon health affairs.
However, one overweight trooper disagreed on the cause of obesity, stating, "It's not overeating! It's those three-five year sandwiches are really hard to pass!"
"We all have hemrroids the size of quarters!"