Pigeon Obesity reaches an all time high!

Funny story written by Baila Collon

Monday, 9 February 2009

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Bristol is hoping to restore their pigeons to their former greatness by 2010.

In 2001 approximately 0.5% of all common pigeons where obese, in 2009 the results show that 23.5% of pigeons are obese.

Last week top naturist, David Attenborough visited the city of Bristol to investigate it's rarest artefacts of nature. He visited the parks to talk to the children and when one child, Silah* aged 5 said "Pigeons are fat" Attenborough wanted to learn more of this fantastic discovery.

"I travelled to the nature reserve of Brandon hill where a rare species of naked mole rat live but I wasn't here to see the fantastic mole-rats I went in search of a pigeon, I found one. He was grey-ish black with small eyes and a small pecking beak. He looked very much like another pigeon one might see in a farm or a forest but the size of it was just extraordinary."

David was said to have looked 'upset' and 'disturbed' when he weighed the pigeon and it turned out to weigh almost 4 stone, triple a pigeons average weight. An expert of pigeons stated that 'immediate action will be taken, and all precautions will be taken to ensure that pigeons go back to being their happy and healthy state. We are hoping to restrict their diet a little more by training the naked mole rats, [their main source of food] to defend themselves, it will be tough but it is worth it to see Bristol's pigeons back!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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