Germs "an urban myth" claim researchers

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Saturday, 7 February 2009

image for Germs "an urban myth" claim researchers
Germs in a can? Load of old tosh.

Researchers at the University of Lyef on the outskirts of Amsterdam in The Netherlands have published a paper in the New England Journal of Medicine contesting that the generally accepted Germ Theory of Disease is actually wrong.

They suggest that rather than illnesses being caused by the presence of micro-organisms as was thought, it is other substances that are to blame. Dr. Simon Gubbins, who originally hails from Nottingham, explained that he and his collaborator on the paper, Dr. Theresa D'Oohickie had made the discovery earlier this year. They claim that Germ Theory and Germ Fact are two entirely different things, and that although the medical profession accepted the theory since 1875 when Robert Koch devised his Postulates as proof, many in the scientific community have been sceptical ever since.

The research duo has, they say, proven beyond reasonable doubt that germs do not exist and that their theories are a much better explanation. They have applied their own names to the substances involved, and in their treatise conclude that "The proximity of any appreciable amounts of Gubbins near to an infection site tends to support the idea that D'Oohickies in the Gubbins are responsible for the onset of disease."

Although the paper was hailed as a breakthrough, one man was not happy with the report. A scientist who was involved in the early research has criticised the paper, suggesting that his ideas should have been included. However, at the time we went to press Professor Lhurgy was not available for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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