The UK government has introduced a radical measure to stop the ever growing rate of obesity, all fat people are to be shot.
The UK has the worse record in the world for obesity with actually 1 in 2 adults classed as either being overweight or obese. A thin person said "Obese people are a complete waste of time, they are a drain on the NHS, cause poor people to starve in Africa and they take up too much room on public transport."This view echoes feeling felt across the skinny world where fatties are universally hated.
The plans that will be introduced in the summer mean that anyone who is overweight will be taken to the back of any dark alley and given a real good kicking. If they don't heed this warning and continue to put on weight they will be marched to the middle of the nearest town and then shot as a warning to the rest of the population.
The Conservative party have dismissed this plan as simply a way to remove Ken Clarke from politics for good. A spokesman said "Old Gordie is hardly a slim gazelle running through the African plains is he? He had better watch out."
Interviews are taking place for the position of head executioner, however rumours are floating that the government is keen on appointing Jamie Oliver to this position.
Major supermarkets, crisp companies and chocolate manufactures are said to be shitting themselves at this news.
