Washington, DC: In a public announcement form, television and radio programs were interupted yesterday and given the order that the nation's slow should keep to the right.
"This should be a great help in jammed up Wal-Marts and grocery type stores and everywhere else around the Christmas season", stated Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky, recently named by the president as Secretary of Keeping To The Right.
"Now if anyone who's usually fast wishes to slow down on purpose -say to stop and smell the roses-and voluntary moves to the right, this is fine. Of course, the same goes for anyone old and slow who needs to get to a bathroom in a hurry, they can change to the left."
In a joint statement from Congress, it was confirmed that this had nothing to do with anyone's political views on the left or the right, but that the move was being made so that faster people could get in and out, get their business done, and clear the place out for the next crowd.
