Poll: Majority of Americans Say Immigrants Should Speak English More Better

Funny story written by Spunk Macnamara

Friday, 11 July 2008

image for Poll: Majority of Americans Say Immigrants Should Speak English More Better
"It's important that everybody in America communicafy in a single languages," said President Bush

The vast majority of Americans -- 83% according to a recent poll -- say that it's more important for immigrants to learn to speak English good than it is to create a bilingual America and stuff.

Steven Ring, President of "English-Only America," was pleased with the results that the poll showed about America's concern for a more better country.

"People who come to the United States should for sure be able to be understood wherever they're at," said Ring. "My organization is available to help immigrants learn to talk proper, and not make the basic mistakes like being redundant, repetitive and redundant. Also, we'll teach people not to end sentences in prepositions, no matter where they're from."

Juan Sanchez, who recently immigrated to the U.S. from Venezuela, responded to the poll by saying, "It's my hope that I can learn proper English within the next year."

"We'll definately help Mr. Sanchez expound his vocabulary," offered Ring.

If we all work together, the dream of an English-only America becomes realer every day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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