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Funny story: Ruling Order of Pasty Whites (ROPW) announces top threats for 2021

Ruling Order of Pasty Whites (ROPW) announces top threats for 2021

The ancient and formerly secret society known as the Ruling Order of Pasty Whites has announced the results of its annual Danger Assessment Polls. These polls serve to keep members informed and help them better navigate their world they've so rightly…

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Funny story: Every Presidential Poll Shows That President Trump’s Ass is Toast

Every Presidential Poll Shows That President Trump’s Ass is Toast

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Most of the reputable US political polls are showing that President Trump’s ass is toast, to use a popular southern cooking term. The Quintessential Poll, one of the most reputable polls n the nation, is going as fa…

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Funny story: Comrade Putin Says That a Kremlin Poll Shows Comrade Trump Ahead of Joe Biden by 83 Points

Comrade Putin Says That a Kremlin Poll Shows Comrade Trump Ahead of Joe Biden by 83 Points

MOSCOW – Word coming out of the Kremlin has put a great happy ‘bigly’ smile on President Trump’s face. A recent poll, that was actually taken inside the Kremlin, shows that Trump is ahead of Joe Biden by 83 percentage points. American poll expe…

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Funny story: Trump University Releases Its Latest Presidential Poll

Trump University Releases Its Latest Presidential Poll

NEW YORK CITY – A spokesperson for Trump University has said that the prestigious university's latest presidential political poll is now out. And the school has confirmed that its owner and titular dean, President Trump, is as happy as Anderson Co…

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Funny story: The Latest Polls Show That if the Election Were Held Today Joe Biden Would Carry All 50 States

The Latest Polls Show That if the Election Were Held Today Joe Biden Would Carry All 50 States

CHICAGO – The latest presidential poll result has caused President Trump to scream out at White House staff members. An insider who asked not to reveal her name for fear of reprisal, said that she saw the President push the White House bakery chef...

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Funny story: A Recent California Poll Totally Infuriates President Trump

A Recent California Poll Totally Infuriates President Trump

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, California – The highly respected Left Coast Monumental Polling Council has just released the results of its most recent extensive state-wide poll. A total of 1,903,521 registered California voters were polled and asked if Pres...

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Funny story: Polls Show That Anti-Trump Advocate George Conway’s Popularity Is Soaring Beyond Belief

Polls Show That Anti-Trump Advocate George Conway’s Popularity Is Soaring Beyond Belief

NEW YORK CITY – The man that is making President Trump miserable as well as nervous as hell, is finding out that he is becoming more and more popular with tens of millions of Americans. In fact, the Washington Globe-Express recently stated that Ge...

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Funny story: The Latest Poll Shows That Black Voters Are Sick and Tired of Donald Trump’s “Plantation Antics”

The Latest Poll Shows That Black Voters Are Sick and Tired of Donald Trump’s “Plantation Antics”

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, California – The Monumental Polling Council has just announced their latest poll regarding Donald Trump. The MPC has released information that clearly shows that the president’s popularity among Black voters has fallen for the 8...

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Funny story: A Huge Majority of California Voters Say Trump Is The Biggest Liar In The History of The World

A Huge Majority of California Voters Say Trump Is The Biggest Liar In The History of The World

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, California - The Monumental Polling Council, which is based in Rancho Cucamonga, recently conducted a poll of all of the registered voters in the entire state and the results were quite eye-opening. The results showed, without a...

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Funny story: Poll guru Sir John Curtice makes astounding predictions about next week in Westminster – Jeremy Corbyn will leave his wallet at home and Boris Johnson’s new puppy will shit on the kitchen floor

Poll guru Sir John Curtice makes astounding predictions about next week in Westminster – Jeremy Corbyn will leave his wallet at home and Boris Johnson’s new puppy will shit on the kitchen floor

Polling expert Sir John Curtice, writing in Mystic Meg’s column in The Sun newspaper today, has warned that next Thursday, lame-duck Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, will leave his wallet at home in a rush to get to work. The damning foretelling is bound...

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Funny story: Pollsters Predict Catastrophic UK General Election Defeat For Conservatives

Pollsters Predict Catastrophic UK General Election Defeat For Conservatives

UK polling organisations have today published their predictions for the June 8th UK General Election. They forecast unanimously that the Conservatives will suffer a crushing defeat, losing their majority in parliament. The pollsters have furthe...

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Funny story: Poll suggests majority of Americans do not want aliens to make contact while Trump is in office

Poll suggests majority of Americans do not want aliens to make contact while Trump is in office

Though Donald Trump has proven to the American people that he is an unstoppable juggernaut when it comes to winning for his team, many citizens still have concerns about the man's personality. Nowhere is this more evident than in a poll released toda...

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Funny story: Looser Guccifer 2.0 delves into candidates' plans for October Surprise

Looser Guccifer 2.0 delves into candidates' plans for October Surprise

The presidential candidates' polling highs and lows are roller coastering on and on. Recently, unpleasant odors of DNC manipulating for Clinton, plus hacks into The Clinton Foundation, threatened a downward sag. This was prevented via blowing...

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Funny story: New Poll: Better then Old Poll According to Strippers

New Poll: Better then Old Poll According to Strippers

A brand new poll at the ShaDynasty's, a gentlemen's club in Washington DC, is very popular among the employees there, according to a survey by Foxy News. The old poll had been there for almost eight years and all the dancers agreed it was time for a...

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Funny story: Stressed-out pollsters admit they have no clue who'll win the election

Stressed-out pollsters admit they have no clue who'll win the election

The general election is now less than 6 weeks away, making this the busy season for polling companies. With the election looking harder to call than BT customer service on a Sunday afternoon, these pollsters have been working round the clock to crunc...

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Funny story: Polls don't tell us anything

Polls don't tell us anything

According to a recent poll conducted by the Polish Polling organisation, Dollop, the British public do not believe polls can tell us anything about the nation's thoughts. "Polls are," said Dollop Pole, Polly Pauls, "largely useless. Apparently."...

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Funny story: Younger Pimps Support Obamacare, Gay Marriage

Younger Pimps Support Obamacare, Gay Marriage

A recent Dew research poll has uncovered some surprising results. The annual Pimp Poll, in which 1,000 pimps across the country are asked their opinions on various issues, shows that pimps under the age of 35 lean Democratic and support Obamacare...

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