Terrorist Abductions = UFO Abductions?

Funny story written by Barry Davidson

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

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The story of, Marwan Jabour, an accused al-Qaeda paymaster and terrorist who alleges that he was held for two years in a 'secret' CIA prison, is a common one. We read about this kind of thing every few weeks in the national media. Should we, as a unified country, even listen to these stories? Well, we asked exactly that of several senior White House officials this morning at a special press conference.

President Bush spoke first.

"While we may have held certain enemy combatants in secret facilities in the past," said the president with certain fervor. "Traitors within the congress has leaked those classified locations to the media."

According to Jabor, he was held in a CIA 'black site' for 28 months. When he was released, according to him, he was stripped naked, photographed, blindfolded, headphones were put over his eyes, then he was injected with some kind of drug. He further stated he was then thrown into a van, Driven to an air strip, and then put on a plane.

Vice President Cheney had this to say, "If this terrorist was injected with a drug, how does he remember any of this alleged story? Next he'll be telling people that I personally shot him."

Since the story of these supposed CIA clandestine prisons first leaked, people have been coming forward to tell how they were supposedly kidnapped. This reporter is reminded of those long ago alien abduction stories that flooded the media.

President Bush has confirmed that there were fourteen suspected terrorists in CIA custody, but have been released. They were taken to their home countries to face trials after the Supreme Court said that the Bush administration had to follow the Geneva Convention when dealing with terrorist combatants.

Human Rights Watch, a liberal agency who no longer represents Americans, has been putting out reports for months about supposed 'black sites.' When asked to comment, they emailed our offices.

"We decided that it was more lucrative to represent foreign investors. Since the US Constitution only applies to US citizens, we can gridlock the federal courts for years with these frivolous lawsuits."

Will more people come forward with abduction stories as they did during the UFO craze of the past? This reporter thinks that they will.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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