WASHINGTON DC: Leaked tapes reveal that President George W Bush believes bombing is the best way forward for the Iranian people.
Confused former-alcoholic Bush tells advisers: "We bombed Vietnam into the stoneage, let's bomb Iran into the future!"
However, tough-talking foreign policy experts at the White House seem to have persuaded Mr Bush - with some difficulty and an enourmous clock - that bombing cannot move countries forward in time.
However, the Commander in Chief, who likes camels and aeroplanes, is convinced bombing is the best way forward for the recalcitrant theocratic regime in the oil-rich Gulf state.
On tapes heard by The Spoof, Mr Bush says: "Well, damn, they're medieval now, lets get them at least to a post 1776 world - then I can do business with them. Honey, get my George Washington suit out, hot diggety!"
A compromise agreement with bemused defence staff has resulted in a strategy to bomb Iran into the 18th Century, a time when Mr Bush believes the country's people will be more amenable to the approaches of men in wigs carrying fire sticks.
The White House, which is a building, has therefore remained silent, its impervious facades not even hinting at the mental turmoil within its hallowed walls, gardens, fences and gates.
