California to Deport Cigarette Smokers

Funny story written by Alison Hymes

Wednesday, 20 June 2007

image for California to Deport Cigarette Smokers

Unable to effectively police its borders to keep out illegal immigrants, and facing popular backlash for trying to do so, the state of California announced today that it was turning its attention to a group that has no defenders and is easy to identify, cigarette smokers.

Starting July 1, 2007, all 2,013 remaining cigarette smokers living within California's borders will be forcibly removed and sent to other states to live, mostly in the Southeast.

A spokesman for tobacco companies said they had no problem with California's action since the high tax California puts on cigarettes cuts into their profits so much it's hardly worth it for them to sell cigarettes in that state. They welcome the move of more smokers to states such as Virginia with some of the lowest cigarette taxes in the country.

A spokesperson said: "Let's face it, the cheaper cigarettes are, the more these people will smoke, so moving them to Virginia is a win/win situation."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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