God Spams GOP Online Polls with Live Paul Voters

Funny story written by alexwall

Sunday, 3 June 2007

At last, the real culprit responsible for faking Congressman Ron Paul's staggering online support figures is exposed: It is God himself who is waging an illegitimate, unauthorized war against Republican Party leaders and their pre-selected, bought-and-paid-for front-runner, Rudy McRomney.

Somehow, in response to recent events, God Almighty for unknown reasons developed the underhanded idea - and the sheer audacity - to create live, human "sleeper cells" who would spring into action at the precise moment of human history when the very existence of individual freedom was to hang in a precarious balance in America, and around the world.

Proof for this finding is the fact that all of the GOP party apparatus' attempts at explaining Ron Paul's prodigious online support away as the act of a small but determined, yet ultimately futile minority of discontented computer geeks have utterly failed.

Actual numbers of live, flesh-and-blood, human counter-espionage agents whose activities are clearly reflected at various online community sites such as www.Meetup.com, prove this fact beyond any doubt, whatsoever.

Now, the only question that remains for the republican's Party supreme leadership is how to hold this errant, self-styled "Creator of the Universe" accountable for his unconscionable, despicable, and subversive deeds. Committees at the highest level of the GOP party structure are working
feverishly toward establishing a solution to this uncommon dilemma.

Results of their top-secret deliberations will be reported regularly as they are divulged to the American public from on high. The GOP's ultimate victory, however, is a foregone conclusion. After all, has not their current president put into place an ingenious network of executive decrees and administrative announcements that give him what is widely known as "unrestricted unitary executive powers?"

Ha! The end is surely near! God will have to pay for his shameless acts of treason, and for his unexcused obstruction of clearly enunciated, albeit secret, party policy.

Alex Wallenwein

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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