BILLINGSGATE POST: Early this morning, Beaver Crossing Constable, Bob Hollander, was seen herding a flock of voluptuous silicon sheep dolls and a motley group of alleged Johns who had been caught up in a sweep in the Red-Light District of Beaver Crossing. Among those Johns was Elmer Smuckmeister, the former mayor of the city and present deacon of St. Beaver’s Church.
Not having a jail large enough to incarcerate all of the sheep dolls and their alleged clients, Constable Hollander decided to release all of them to their own recognizance before their hearing in Seward, the County Seat.
The story was front page news above the fold in the local fish wrap. Even though the widows in the town of 450 God fearing residents had been clucking about the “goings on” in that area of town for years, little did they know that they were being passed over by the local farmers for a tryst with a silicon doll - a sheep - no less.
Elmer, who was rumored to have a penchant for sheep, blamed himself for his moral weakness.
“I wasn’t brought up this way,” he said to the judge.
Dr. Slim: “Describe the sound a silicon sheep makes when it explodes.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Sis Boom Bah!”
