BILLINGSGATE POST: To demonstrate the evils of a life dedicated to inebriation and sexual depravity, Preacher Levi traveled across the United States lecturing church groups on the evils that can befall Christians who choose a life outside the boundaries of their faith. In his lectures, he would call upon his traveling partner, Elmer Smuckmeister, as an example of what can happen when you choose this life style.
Elmer, when sober, was a fine and respectable human being. A gentleman farmer from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, he came from a gentile and influential family of Southern dignity that traced its aristocratic heritage back to the antebellum period prior to the Civil War.
In these meetings Elmer would wear a urine stained Colonel Sander's style white suit and sit in a chair next to Preacher Levi. Sweating profusely, belching and reeling off popcorn farts at will while making obscene gestures to the witnesses who came to hear the preacher's words, he was the perfect example of what can happen to a wayward soul with no boundaries.
Alas, Elmer passed away this past Friday, and Preacher Levi is looking for someone to take his place.
Please contact Dr. Billingsgate if you wish to volunteer to replace Elmer.
Dr. Slim: “A more moral cause one would find difficult to find.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. I think I will pass on this one.”
