Donald Trump Quits President's Race

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 14 August 2024

image for Donald Trump Quits President's Race
"This is too much fun to miss. I coming back."

Stop the presses. The 34-time convicted felon sex abuser has withdrawn his name from the US Presidential race to spend more time with his family. Though most of his family is comprised of adults with children of their own, he decided they needed him, so the surprise quit.

Kamala Harris didn’t spare Donald Trump’s feelings for an instant. At her next rally, she climbed on stage and launched into singing the melody of the song Getting To Know You, using a one-word lyric, “Chicken.” The audience joined in.

This would leave the boogeyman, with the beard and eyeliner who had previously written a book, to run for President of the United States all alone. As he stepped into the first-place position on the ticket, he needed a running mate, which would have to be a woman. He rang up Elizabeth Lynne Cheney or Liz Cheney.

But Dick answered.

“Yes,” Dick said immediately. He would indeed be delighted to partner with the boogeyman and run as the boogeyman’s Vice President. He had a lot of experience in the job and could show the boogeyman all the ropes.

Afraid to say no to Dick Cheney, the boogeyman said, “Okay.”

At her next rally, Kamala Harris climbed on stage and began singing Happy Days Are Here Again, not the slow, dramatic Barbra Streisand version, but the fast, upbeat, foot-stomping version of Happy Days Are Here Again.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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