Yesterday at a campaign rally in Virginia Mr. Biden asserted: "You get knocked down . . . ah, yes, let me see here . . . you get right up again!"
Investigative reporting by NY Times editors has disclosed WHY the Biden camp is suddenly jubilant, following Debate Horror Thursday Evening.
Big Pharma has stepped in to offer support. Brain amputation and replacement is now the leading edge of hope.
There is one caveat.
Following surgery, a new drug is required to keep the new brain functioning optimally, at $12,000 a month each infusion of 400 micrograms of BRYZIMICO.
(Advertisements for Bryzimico include (in tiny font) side effects: irritable bowel, swollen feet, fatigue, fainting, excessive wind, skin sores, softening of bones, discomfort socially, death-like pallor. If any or all of these occur, consult your doctor.)
Types of brain to be inserted:
a) average, bordering on incompetent, but you can get by with it (modeled by the US Congress): no bumbling, fixed stares, agonizing pauses guaranteed
b) above average, a player's mentality able to carry on lively conversation, speak out of both sides of the mouth on substantive issues, and at times offer witty exchanges (modeled by Barack Obama)
c) superior/supremacist, as with streaming non-stop narratives crafted to suit yourself and whatever special interests are backing you at the time (modeled by Donald Trump)
Mr. Biden consulted for some time with Jill during which an argument ensued and led to a slamming of doors until Mr. Biden confessed he could not recall what they were arguing about.
He had favored Option C because he would be “much more articulate during the next debate!”
Blazing a little, however, Jill had maintained: “No, no, Option B! Out of loyalty to Barack, and look how successful he has been with EXACTLY that kind of brain!”
Mr. Biden at last agreed. Thinking of anything Trump brought on shivers and skin color reminiscent of Colgate Tooth Paste.
Further, with this development The NY Times said it would re-consider its recommendation that he withdraw from the presidential contest.
