Purity Dances and Abstinence Balls Highlight of Just Say No Campaign

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 12 March 2007


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Young Christian women are shown exactly what kinds of lingerie they should not wear for their boyfriends in the fashion show

Fundamentalist Christians have begun a new movement to encourage young girls to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual contact. Called "abstinence balls" or "purity dances," these events end with the teenager signing a contract with her father to remain a virgin until her honeymoon.

Girls attend these events in prom dresses and formals with their fathers. White cake and punch are served and they dance with their tuxedo clad dads. The highlight of the evening is when each of the adolescents makes her covenant with God and her father to avoid all sexual contact with boyfriends (and possibly girlfriends) until her wedding night.

After that, the girls are split off with other fathers and go to local hotels. There, trusted men other than her father will train and demonstrate to the fully developed youngsters exactly which things they should avoid. Girls are trained in such topics as "What oral sex is and exactly how I should not give it to my boyfriend" and "How the great feelings I get when Mr. Hunter is rubbing my breasts should not occur between me and my boyfriend."

Before the one on one teaching moments, however, the girls put on a fashion show for their and all other fathers. They pick out skimpy lingerie that they promise not to wear again and parade in it in front of the assembled men. "This allows the young women to get their exhibitionist feelings out in the open and and gone," said one of the fathers at a recent event. "After the modeling, they can put this stuff away for the next few years and never take it out again. They have learned what not to wear in a clean, wholesome, Christian environment."

Fathers at the event last week in Savannah, Georgia admitted that it was a special evening for them and their daughters. The concensus was also that they really enjoyed to opportunity to help other fathers out with their own girls in their teaching moments.

Fathers of young, attractive teenage girls interested in participating in these events should contact the local fundamentalist christian church in their area for more information, dates, motel reservations, and birth control requirements.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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