President Biden proudly boasts that he subscribes to Victorian Secrets magazine

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 2 May 2023

image for President Biden proudly boasts that he subscribes to Victorian Secrets magazine
Joe has renovated the Opulent Salon at the White House with tips from Victorian Secret

White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre was asked if it's true that POTUS has a subscription to the extremely popular monthly publication Victorian Secrets Magazine.

Miss Jean-Pierre smiled and announced that President Biden has subscribed to the nation's top magazine since 2002. Known for its demure and nostalgic content, the magazine covers topics ranging from antique lace doilies to elaborate tea party etiquette.

She noted that he loves reading the op-ed pieces, with one of his favorites being a piece from 2018 titled "The Dangers of Excessive Ankle Exposure: Maintaining Modesty in the Era of Donald 'Busy-Fingers' Trump."

The president's vice-president has made it abundantly clear to the low-life, bottom-dwelling haters that if they do not enjoy President Biden's secret fascination with Victorian-era fashion, they can "kindly take a long, extravagant carriage ride off a short pier."

Vice President Harris passionately defended the president's interests, stating, "In this administration, we celebrate individuality and embrace the elegance of bygone eras. If President Biden wants to indulge in the allure of Victorian Secrets, more power to him! After all, who can resist the charm of corsets, top hats, and a gentleman's well-polished cane?"

SIDENOTE: The American Research Group says that Victorian Secrets' readership surpasses that of Sports Illustrated, the International Inquirer, Handyman Illustrated, Playboy, the Auto Racing Revue, Hustler, and Golf Guide Illustrated combined.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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