Alabama unveils their new slogan - Come to Alabama and we'll give you a free bag of cotton

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 10 May 2023

image for Alabama unveils their new slogan - Come to Alabama and we'll give you a free bag of cotton
Traci is a 5th grade teacher.

Alabama, the state hailed as "The Queen of Cotton," has just unveiled its quirky and whimsical state promotional slogan.

State spokeswoman Amanda Gillingwell, a sprightly 29-year-old cotton enthusiast, passionately declared that the cotton industry is bursting at the seams with success. Eager to lure visitors from far and wide, the state has concocted a delightful plan.

In a gesture as unique as a boll of cotton, Alabama will gift each out-of-state visitor with a complimentary bag of cotton. Prepare to be dazzled by the contents of this whimsical swag! The bag is stuffed with approximately 14 ounces of luscious grade A Alabama cotton.

But that's not all! As an ode to the spirited fusion of cotton and indulgence, the state will also include a coveted fifth of Colonel Cletus Cotton Bourbon, a legendary elixir praised as the Tom Brady of Bourbons. Sip and savor this magical drink, and allow its silky smoothness to transport you to cotton-filled dreams.

Alabama beckons you to immerse yourself in its cotton-clad wonders, where gossamer threads intertwine with Southern charm. Come one, come all, and experience the enchantment of "The Queen of Cotton"!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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