BURNT CORNBREAD, Alabama - (Spoof News) - Local residents are saying that they have not seen this bad of a cotton boll weevil attack since the late 1940s.
One owner (Uriah Muffler), 77, of a large 900 acre cotton field just outside of Mobile, Alabama said that the pesky sumbitches, as they pronounce sons of bitches in Alabama, seem to be made out of an unsmashable plastic substance.
He noted that there is no animal or insect poop on the face of the Earth that smells as awful, as offensive, and as disgustingly disgusting.
Meanwhile the Director of The Alabama Cotton Consortium, (DACC) Gibeon "Bubba" Boomshack, 83, says that if the boll weevils are not eradicated and soon, most of the state's residents could end up having to go on food stamps.
