Ron De Satan has given the greenlight for copies of Mein Kampf, written by some Austrian guy named Adolf Hitler, to be required reading for all children in Florida schools. Tests will be given as well as awards to any child who can recite as much of the book as possible.
Memorize Hitler for big cash prizes, kids!
Hitler’s Struggle will also be the book people have to swear on in court, instead of the Bible and all its evil and incest and wars and tortures and THOU SHALT NOT – that’s no way to advance civilization! And all politicians who get a job in politics – instead of being disgraced and forced to open Tex/Mex restaurants and roadhouses – will have to lay their delicate, soft hand on Mein Kampf and swear that they will uphold all the crazy laws of Florida for as long as they’re getting kickbacks from oil, pharma, or the NRA.
Books not written by Hitler will not be considered as Official State-Approved Literature, and every book that wants to be read by the most literate people on the planet – Floridians – has to be read first by Ron or by someone he trusts, and only Ron will then make a decision as to whether it has the right to be read and not banned and burned.
Get out those marshmallows, kids! Hitler wants you to join his camp and sing happy songs about something called ‘The Reich”! Is that what Ron calls Florida now?
Let the congregation stand as the preacher, Ron, reads a few selections from the Holy Book of hatred, Mein Kunt.
